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From the huge collection of improbable images(courtesy photoshop?) 

here is one, a bit grotesque but it connects...

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Made in India

Was working up a bit seriously when this mail popped up from a friend..instantly lightened me up!

There was a Japanese who went to India for sightseeing.

On the last day, he hired a cab and told the driver to drive to the Airport.During the journey, a Honda drove past the taxi.

Thereupon, the man leaned out of the window excitedly and yelled, "Honda, very fast! Made in Japan!!!

After a while, a Toyota sped past the taxi and again the Japanese man leaned out of the window and yelled, "Toyota, very fast! Made in Japan!"

And then a Mitsubishi sped past the taxi. For the third time, the Japanese leaned out of the window and yelled, "Mitsubishi, very fast! Made in Japan!"

The driver was a little angry, but he kept quiet. And this went on for quite a number of cars.

Finally, the taxi came to the airport. The fare was 800 rupees!!!!

The Japanese exclaimed, "What?? So expensive!"

There upon, the driver yelled back, "Meter, Made in India VERY VERY FAST !!!!!

Priceless things in life

Here is an interesting story.

A husband wakes up at home with a huge hangover. He forces himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins and a glass of water on the side table. He sits down and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and pressed. He looks around the room and sees that it is in perfect order, spotless, clean. So is the rest of the house. He takes the aspirins and notices a note on the table. "Honey, breakfast is on the table, I left early to go grocery shopping. Love You!"

Totally shocked with the note , he goes to the kitchen and sure enough there is a hot breakfast and the morning newspaper. His son is also at the table, eating. He asks, "Son, what happened last night?"

His son says, "Well, you came home around 3 AM, drunk and delirious. Broke some crockery, puked in the hall, and gave yourself a black eye when you stumbled into the door".

Confused, the man asks, "So, why is everything in order and so clean, and breakfast is on the table waiting for me? I should expect a big quarrel with her!"

His son replies, "Oh, that! Mom dragged you to the bedroom, and when she tried to take your clothes n shoes off, you said, "LADY LEAVE ME ALONE! I'M MARRIED!"

Moral:
Self-induced hangover - $ 400.00
Broken crockery - $ 800.00
Breakfast - $ 10.00
Saying the Right Thing While Drunk – "PRICELESS "

Have a wonderful week ahead :)

Gandhigiri in cricket

"It is finished. The punishment is only for using obscene language."

That's the relief in Indian camp when Harbhajan was let off the racial charge and was only fined for using abusive language. There is obviously a lot of celebration on the Indian side but the Australian side is truly the other side of the coin. There are quotes indicating BCCI's money power pulling the strings ! They accuse ICI of bowing due to the power of BCCI. Oh, nice to hear that, thank you.
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People are relieved that the player only 'used abusive language' as if that was a lesser crime...
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What a way to celebrate Gandhi Jayanthi!
Hope the teams seriously take a lesson on Gandhigiri from our Munnabhai.
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And to lighten up a bit, here is one of those forwards but an evergreen one with a great sense of humor through play of words:
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I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger.....and then it hit me.
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Police were called to a day care where a three-year-old was resisting arest.Did you hear about the guy whose entire left side was cut off? Well!!! He'sall right now.
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To write with a broken pencil is pointless.
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The short fortune teller who escaped from prison was a small medium atlarge.
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A thief fell into wet cement. He became a hardened criminal.
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Thieves who steal corn from a garden could be charged with stalking.
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We'll never run out of math teachers because they always multiply.
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The math professor went crazy with the blackboard. He did a number on it.
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The geology professor discovered that her theory of earthquakes was onshaky ground.
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The dead batteries were given out free of charge.
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If you take a laptop computer for a run you could jog your memory.
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A dentist and a manicurist fought tooth and nail.
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A bicycle can't stand alone; it is two tired.
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A will is a dead giveaway.
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He broke into song because he couldn't find the key.
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A calendar's days are numbered.
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A boiled egg is hard to beat.
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He had a photographic memory which was never developed.
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Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.
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When she saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she'd dye.
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Acupuncture: a jab well done.

Have a nice week :)

The Boss

Last week was so hectic that the calender sheet looked as a blur. Clock hands whirred like the wheels of a racing car. I was almost tired but happy with what was achieved. There are times when one aspect of our life takes on such a monstrous proportion that everything else takes back seat. Right now it's work. But I am beginning to get on top of things and by Monday should be in control. Well, enough excuse for not writing a single sensible post in a week, I guess.

But with a blog title such as this, I shouldn't complain. Here's a gem that brought a wide grin and it lingered for a long time right in the middle of all that work.

One day a senior manager, junior manager were travelling with their boss when they find an old lamp. One among them rub the lamp and immediately a genie appears and says: "normally three wishes are fulfilled for one,but as you are three let me grant one wish for each of you..."

The senior manager with full enthusiasm takes the initiative and asks "I want to be in a ship, away from everyone enjoying the beauty...." and the Sr. Mgr disappers.

Now the Junior manager eagerly says, "I want to be in florida with beautiful girls,wine and everthing...." and the Jr. Mgr disappers.

At last the Boss speaks out, "I want them back at their work by sharp 12:35pm"

Moral of the story: Always let the Boss speak first.

The root cause

Right now, at work, I am amidst a lot of activities on improvement & corrective actions. This forward hit it right on the spot!

Two kangaroos were living in a zoo pen with a 20-foot high fence. One morning, both kangaroos were found wandering around the zoo, and were quickly put back in their pen, and the fence was put up to 30 feet. Next morning, they were found outside again, so the fence was made 40 feet high. The fence got up to 60 feet, and still the kangaroos were outside in the morning.

One kangaroo says to the other, "How high will they make this fence, do you think?"

"Don't know," says the second. "Depends when they discover they're not locking the gate."

Positive FM

Today morning, in Radio City's Breakfast Show (one of the FM radio stations in Bangalore), the RJ was in a festive mood due to their sixth anniversary celebrations. Have the private FMs been around that long? A lot of people were calling in to say that they have been listening to this station right from day one. Every one was full of praises for the service and the RJs. Of course the callers will be rewarded with gift hampers today.

One person said he tunes in every day in the morning because it helps him to start the day in a very positive way. I wondered how. There must be some program on air every morning that conveys a positive note.

Then there was an item about funny rejoinders by 'Vasudev' who speaks as if he is about to have a bout of severe cough...all he said was " every rose has its thorns, every idli has its sambar...ha ha ha..." I seriously tried to look for a positive note in the idli as well as the sambhar. Is he trying to say 'everyone has his match'... or is it 'there is someone for everyone?'

Immediately the next segment began... Uncle Appukuttan Nair. This was something. I don't remeber the entire dialogue but this is somewhat close to what went on:

'Every one comes to Appukuttan Ungle! for advice...be it marriage or migraine...Siddiq had a problem with his girlfriend and she refused to sit on his bike. Siddiq was heart broken when he came to me. I told him, life is like a roller coaster. There will be ups and downs, alle? I told him, forget the smaller issues and look at the larger picture. You will not have any problems in life. Simble, no?' Now, that's a sound advice :)

Appukuttan then sang a couple of lines from hindi film songs ... pyar mein kabhi kabhi aisa hi hota hai...He did a fairly nice job. He continued, 'when I next saw Siddiq he was very happy driving around with his girl friend and cuddling upto her on the park bench. Always ask Appukuttan Ung(c)le, no?'

The delivery was loaded with a typical accent, you have already guessed which one, right?...very soft and easy...nice one.

Immediately after this another caller thanked the station for helping him clear his Engineering exams. Now, how did they do that? Even the RJ was a bit surprised!

Whatever they had achieved in the last six years, right now I am having a good time in the morning traffic.

Traffic

Those living in Bengaluru (erstwhile Bangalore!) need not be told about the problems of commuting in slow moving traffic. I, for one, have the previlege of travelling 21 kms, one way, from south end exit till the north exit right through the heart of the city. The travel time takes anywhere from 50 mins to 90 mins depending on time of the day.

Initially I used to get frustrated quite easily but then I learnt to accept the situation. Learnt to accept the inevitable. It ismy decision to continue in these circumstances. Hence, I guess, I am responsible for this. Soon after this slight attitude adjustment the whole thing started getting better. Life is not that bad after all.

I decided to listen to all my audio collection, one by one. Slowly the stock ran out! After all it is almost two to three hours of listening per day. And then I switched over to listening FM....which opened a whole new experience...and they also have interesting 'Traffic Updates!'

I was listening to Radio City. They have this fun tinge to the whole thing. The item was on twisting an existing proverb in a funny way... the proverb for the day was 'You cannot have the cake and eat it too.'... and within minutes the callers started getting back with SMS and calls with their versions on air. 'You cannot have the cake and run away', 'You cannot have the cake alone, got to share with me', etc, etc,

One girl called up to say " You cannot have your boy friend and have your husband too!" She went on to explain - A boy friend does not have any responsibility whereas a husband is responsible for himself as well as the wife. A husband needs to take much more responsibilities than a boy friend. A boy friend is there for the fun part."

Very interesting, indeed!

Even if animals can't talk...

Wow! It is sheer coincidence. Times of India carried this pic. The info ran as:

LION KING: Animal behaviourist Kevin Richardson has such an intimate bond with big cats that he can spend the night curled up with them without the slightest fear of attack. Richardson, 32, who is based in a wildlife conservation area near Johannesburg in South Africa, works his unusual magic on other species too. Cheetahs, leopards and even unpredictable hyenas hold no threat for him.

How relevant to the day's topic! It seems animals need not talk after all! Looking at Kevin cuddling up to the big cats one doesn't feel the existence of any barrier at all. Some powerful rapport! As Pria suggested, body language, signs and lots of love can break barriers between humans and animals.

May be there is actually no need for any sort of conversation. In most relationships with fellow humans, most of the times, the ability to remain silent, the ability to curb the urge to throw strong words at the other person could be the single most virtue that saved the relationship...Thank God...No one has ever reported a broken relationship with their pets!

That makes the bond between man and the animal all the more intriguing and add that emotional bond to the relationship. . .and that explains the longer life that pet owners purportedly have compared to other love deprived souls!

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